Ketchup Is Gross & More People Should Eat French Fries with Mustard
HOT TAKE ALERT
August 1, 2019 / Featuring tattoos, Doritos Locos Tacos, & James Madison
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Millennials (Are Inked Up & Getting Sexually Harassed)
Tattoos have become increasingly common over the past twenty years. About 1 in 5 people in the US have one, but as of 2016, 40% of millennials had tattoos. Which means that that tattoos have been incorporated into the age-old pastime of catcalling, now referred to as “tatcalling.” GQ has the guide on how to not tatcall, but to rather start a conversation with a woman respectfully about her body art.
A Less Serious Item (On Airplanes & Gold Status)
Whenever I’m waiting in line to board a plane, almost always in the absolute last cohort of people allowed on, I find myself wondering who the mysterious “Gold” or “Platinum” or “Elite” members who get to board the plane first are. Who are these people that fly so much that they board the plane first, get to sit in the VIP lounge, get complimentary drinks on the plane? They must live truly fabulous, stress-free lives. It turns out I’m dead wrong about that! According to this (delightful) New Yorker article, to achieve maintain elite airline status requires a delicate dance of essentially wasting your money on flights you don’t need because airlines are constantly changing the requirements for elite status. And achieving elite status sure as hell doesn’t mean you get to keep elite status, each year is another struggle to meet the requirements — including stress about not flying enough due to pregnancy!
Important to remember.
This Week’s Theme: Nothing Like a Week Where I Talk About Grub
First, we’re taking a trip around the world with French Fry dipping sauces. This Atlas Obscura article covers the different french fry dip “families,” from gravy-based to ketchup-based (bleh), and everything in between. If you need me, I am recovering from being sufficiently grossed out by the knowledge that ketchup has more sugar per tablespoon than vanilla ice cream. There’s also a brief history of how potatoes became french fries and how it relates to the industrial revolution. Food is so darn political!
And if you find yourself particularly into this, feel free to dive into a Utah-specific exploration of french fry dips.
Staying on the topic of junk food, please enjoy this story of how the Doritos Locos Taco was basically invented for Taco Bell because the CEO had a midlife crisis. I feel like I finally understand the Doritos Locos Tacos — nothing makes more sense than the monstrosity (sorry if you like ‘em!) being the result of a 50-year-old man grasping at straws. Anyway, even though I just called them a monstrosity, Doritos Locos Tacos are monstrously popular and like 450 MILLION of them have been sold. Capitalism is crazy.
Finding a gif for this was… too easy.
And finally, in honor of the egg is bigger than before video going viral, I offer Helen Rosner’s commentary on a viral video about the best way to peel garlic.
Politics (A Real American History Homework Assignment)
This week, I’m sending you to the annals of The Atlantic archives, to read an article from October 2018 about the ways in which American democracy has drifted so far from James Madison’s dream of it. It’s a longer analysis, thoughtful in its explanation of the ways in which American democracy has changed over the years (how the Supreme Court has gained influence and become more partisan, how the polarization of media has allowed disparate communities to create mob-like coalitions, how the direct election of senators has diluted the founding fathers’ intentions for the design of the republic). I will say that if mentions of the Federalist Papers leaves you running for the hills, you might be advised to skip this one, but at a bare minimum I hope you’ll look at what I think is a very charming illustration of James Madison holding a smartphone. Long live the republic.
If you did the reading, this raccoon is clapping for you.
A Celebrity Thinger (Every Day Is a Winding Road)
The celebrity thinger is a tad bit political this week, as I offer up a throwback to the time that Sheryl Crow suggested that everyone use only one square of toilet paper to go to the bathroom. Back in 2007! Talk about being environmentalist before it was cool! The Cut has more on this magic moment.
Would You Rather? (Restaurant Waste Edition)
Would you rather BYO tupperware for takeout or own a T****-branded plastic straw in order to own liberal paper straws?
A Recommendation (A Remake Rec)
A controversial recommendation because it’s the critics are less charmed by it than me, but I binged the first four episodes of the Four Weddings & a Funeral TV series remake on Hulu and I had an extremely nice time. If you’re looking for sugary sweet hangout TV, I think it’s a nice background show featuring very pretty actors. An amalgamation of “around” young actors star in the remake, including Missandei from Game of Thrones, Anna from the Mindy Project, the eccentric rapper from You’re the Worst, and the boyfriend from Search Party. It’s fine, it’s nice, it’s good, and the plot is pretty far from the movie, which is kind of how I think remakes should be?
Wholesome! Pithy!
P.S. I was watching this on my iPhone on an Amtrak train and an old guy leaned over to me and was like “Missandei lives on!” and then I had to break it to yet another person that I do not watch Game of Thrones. This is a story is about the show, but also about how old men love talking to me on Amtrak.
The Interactive Bits (Interact with me!)
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