Doesn't It Feel Like Everyone Has IBS?
Not just hot girls!
Featuring microneighborhoods, the Try Guys (I’m so sorry), and FLOP LINKS.
P.S. Like my newsletter? Make your friends sign up and feed my sense of self-importance.
Literally Just Something I Think Is Funny
Yes I sent a completely unhinged takedown piece of a Rolling Stone listicle mere days ago, but on the flip side I greatly enjoyed this entry from Bojack Horseman creator Raphael Bob-Waksberg listing his 50 top TV shows of all time for the magazine. It includes classic entries like Insecure and Mad Men, but it’s a cleverly subjective list, including better entries like “SNL when you were in high school” and “Frasier minus fat jokes” and “I was gonna put the Sopranos here, but I feel like they don’t need my help so let’s say Better Off Ted.” A true joy of a link!
A Less Serious, Kind of Shitty Item
Excuse the pun, but this summer I went to Santorini (huge, enormous brag) and while I was walking along the storied, most tourist-y drag of the entire island (the shops in Oia, feel free to message me if you’re going and want recs!!) I heard two beautiful, young women behind me complain about how they have both acid reflux and IBS, and then one of them said something along the lines of “it feels like EVERYONE has one or the other.” And I was struck because suddenly it felt like: ok, so everyone else HAS noticed that we’re all complaining of the same, sad digestive issues. Hot girls, ugly girls, normal-looking girls, the gender fluid set, BOYS even.
In that mindset, I greatly enjoyed Drift Magazine’s piece about how everyone has IBS, but also the generalized history of gastrointestinal complaining, with elucidating information like:
…in the United States, the annual medical costs associated with IBS exceed $1 billion.
(Of course, toilet humor has been popular since the beginning of shared human society — the earliest written joke in all of history is about a young woman farting in her husband’s lap, from Sumeria, 1900 B.C.)
In “The Grand Organ of Sympathy”: “Fashionable” Stomach Complaints and the Mind in Britain, 1700-1850, medical historians James Kennaway and Jonathan Andrews demonstrate that in Georgian Britain, digestive upset was considered quite debonair, so much so that it was linked to “lifestyle and virtue” (at least, as long as it did not “present dramatically unsightly symptoms”).
And don’t worry, one of the final conclusions of this article is just that actually capitalism is probably making IBS worse for everyone. And? Probably all this IBS means we’re all gonna get more food allergies. Huzzah.
From the annals of the “hot girls have IBS” Tiktok trend… help us, save, us have mercy upon us, etc.
P.S. We can talk about acid reflux next time.
P.P.S. This is a free idea: start an acid reflux-friendly restaurant. I think you’d make bank! And furthermore? I would go!
This Week’s Theme: That’s Enough, New York City
A lot of stuff I link out about in this newsletter comes from New York media. I wish it weren’t like that, but there just IS a lot of media in New York. Good media! Silly media (my favorite kind)! Interesting media!
Which is why I’m so intrigued by the “neighborhood” Dimes Square and the media frenzy that’s followed it.
New York, like all the cities along the Northeast Corridor, is painfully neighborhood-y. People don’t live in New York, they live in Tribeca, Crown Heights, the Upper West, etc. I’m stating the obvious only to then state something very confusing: in the 2010s, the idea of a neighborhood called “Dimes Square” cropped up. Except “Dimes Square” is really just an intersection at the bottom of the Lower East Side where a bar called Dimes is. Many people have referred to it as “microneighborhood,” which I would argue is actually just a “block,” but that’s not really the point. Dimes Square gained so much renown that there’s a now a Freeform reality show about it, trying to capture the je ne sais quoi of this non-neighborhood through the journeys of a bunch of hot, queer twenty-somethings.
I am linking out this New Yorker piece explaining more about what Dimes Square is…
…so that I can then link you to a much more interesting newsletter called The Dirt about the meme-ification of geography itself. Through the lens of the phenomenon that Dimes Square became, author Drew Austin discusses the new concept of metagentrification (“[it] is post-millennial, illegible, and hyper-self-aware (‘Not me eating breakfast at Dimes!’”), and the fact that Dimes Square isn’t really a real thing, just a corner with some restaurants.
To which I say: that’s enough, New York City! I think it’s time to take a break from posting. Go back underground. Invent the next cronut. Let people without trust funds move to your city. Please!
The Politics of…Old Clothes
The Atlantic’s Amanda Mull goes long on the sad truth that getting rid of your old clothes is a lot of work if you don’t want them to go to waste. Large donation shops get far more donations than they could ever sell, and reselling your clothes is tedious work - but in a world where women reportedly wear a piece of clothing on average only seven times, where does that leave you, me, and the pile of clothes you’ve been meaning to donate for months?
I think the answer is probably: try them on again! And then text all your friends.
P.S. Don’t ask me what to do with old sheets and pillows - as far as I can tell, they’re nearly undonate-able.
A Celebrity Thinger (Committing a Crime and Allowing the Try Guys to Qualify As Celebrities)
I was really not going to talk much about the Try Guys but then Gawker did an incredible little takedown piece of the remaining Try Guys (Tri Guys?) addressing the fourth Try Guy leaving.
Gawker editor George Civeris commenting on the video:
After a week of processing, the remaining three Try Guys, who by some miracle of venture-funded digital media disruption and Obama-era anything-goes optimism ended up as on-camera talent, are back to creating short-form video content for their hungry, hungry viewers to slobber down along with their daily Sweetgreen Harvest Bowl.
P.S. If you have absolutely no idea who the Try Guys are, just skip this. You don’t need to know. You don’t need to know at all. I myself didn’t know until last week when everyone started tweeting about it and I miss that version of myself!
Flop Links (New Section Alert!)
(Re) Introducing my friend Justin Crosby who has authored this fun little section for you, featuring “flop” links from around the internet. It’s a selection of links from around the internet featuring people, places, things, and more who are doing less than their best, for your entertainment. Pop culture-oriented, but everyone’s viable to be a victim of a flop link:
Ain’t Nothin’ Goin’ (Erewh)on But the Rent - In a cosmically hilarious turn of events that’ll make you say “well, well, well, look what we have here!” LA-based grocery store Erewhon is being sued for failing to pay four months of rent and for causing general chaos at the Studio City location. By “chaos,” I hope we’re referring to the Allie X vs. Twitter Gay/Dog-In-Hot-Car Incident, which took place in the parking lot of this very same location this past summer and took up too much of everyone’s already-cluttered headspace. For me, as an LA local, the gravitational pull of their meticulously organized bell peppers and the thrill of risking hypothyroidism from overconsumption of their pretty sea moss gels has lured me in a handful of times. Maybe I’m a glutton for punishment, maybe I’m addicted to the performance I deliver when asked by a cashier if I’d like to join their $200 annual membership program. All this aside, I speak as an eye witness when I say that this place is chaotic for the budget and the soul from the second you enter that parking lot. Jury’s out on whether or not I hope they make rent.
Can We Just Leave Kesha Alone?
With serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer stealing headlines once again, annoying Twitter users in the near-constant pursuit of clout have resurfaced a lyric from Kesha's 2010 EP Cannibal. In the title track off the EP, she cautions potential male suitors: "Be too sweet and you'll be a goner, I'll pull a Jeffrey Dahmer." As the “backlash” over this now-decade-old lyric continues to grow within very specific stan communities on Twitter, Kesha's mom valiantly took to TikTok to defend her daughter. Mother Kesha revealed that she herself is actually the writer of this particular line. But, she also notes that the idea to rhyme “Dahmer” with “goner” actually came from a rhyme generator site - so what now?
Enough! All of you! Nobody knew or cared about this song until this past week. It never got the official single treatment and it was rarely ever performed in a big public venue - except for this year when Kesha performed it for the floppy Huluween Dragstravaganza, which doesn’t count. Until recently, I thought I was the only person who even knew about this lyric (Kesha's first album Animal and subsequent Cannibal EP were on heavy rotation for me in 3rd grade while I locked myself in my room every day after school and made my boy Sims kiss). Ultimately, none of this performative outrage is doing anyone any tangible good, especially the families of Dahmer's victims. Plus, it goes without saying that Kesha herself has been through enough. So, to all this I say: enough! And remember: y’all can go after Ryan Murphy whenever.
A Recommendation (Going Sketch Comedy Mode)
This week I’m recommending the sketch show Sherman’s Showcase on Hulu - it’s a short and sweet set of fifteen episodes put out by IFC from 2017-18. The show itself is lampooning variety shows like Soul Train and American Bandstand, and their parody variety show is called “Sherman’s Showcase.” Each episode features highlights of Sherman’s Showcase over the years, allowing for multi-generational bits and sketches (think: what if Ocean’s 11 was a bunch of Motown artists trying to rob Phil Spector?), as well as some of the best song parodies I’ve seen in years.
I highlighted some of my favorite parodies below:
Every episode ends with a faux informercial asking you to buy the “incomplete” 23 DVD box set of Sherman’s Showcase, which is in and of itself is an incredible bit.
Donation Corner! (It’s Back!)
I used to do a ton of research for this section each week, and it’s time I don’t really have, so instead I’m just going to feature one organization each week! And I will simply reiterate that donating to local organizations, mutual aid, and individual people are all good uses of your money!
The Philadelphia Diaper Bank providers free diapers, adult incontinence products, and feminine products to those in need.
The Interactive Bits (Interact with me!)
Have a link you think is good? Submit link suggestions here.